100 Days of Chemo

Rochelle January 2014It’s the night before I start chemo. Again. If you’re keeping track, it’s #3.

Good things:

  1. My last remission lasted 19 months.
  2. I made it through 2013 without chemo.
  3. I’m only 3.5 years from diagnosis.
  4. Dr. H. says the average patient goes through 5 lines of chemo.
  5. The doctors have not given up.

Despite the list, I disappoint people — I see it in their eyes. I’m not the survivor they’d like me to be. What I’d like to show is that chemo has a bright side if you’re still in the running.

When my CA 125 finally passed the threshold two weeks ago, my doctor didn’t say, you’re out of options, there’s nothing more we can do for you. That makes me happy because I know a woman who has been told just that and she’s off searching for whatever will keep her living longer. Chemo means there is hope.

Two weeks ago I suspected cancer was causing pain in my lung when I inhaled deeply. The doctor listened to my chest and sent me for an X-ray. She was very happy to tell me that it wasn’t a lesion. “It’s only fluid and only very little.” I was pleased and on the way home before I realized it was fluid on the lung that G. suffered before she died.

Today I saw the doctor again because now the pain had amplified, needing Tylenol and it had shifted to the rear of my lung. A CT scan a couple of hours later satisfied the doctor’s fears that it wasn’t a blood clot. Now I’m even glad it’s only fluid.

I went on to enjoy the first picnic of the year at the beach. Here’s to chemo.

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14 Responses to 100 Days of Chemo

  1. Ariela says:

    Rochelle, you are a warrior! Your outlook and strength an inspiration!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. michelle@elimina.com says:

    Rochelle – I find you so inspiring, and always so positive! Keep on keeping on, and writing! Michelle and Eli Mina [you and Wade were at our wedding almost 33 years ago!] 


    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mary-Louise Doherty says:

    Rochelle, sometimes it is tough being a strong woman but most of us would not want it any other way. We keep taking the next right step as it presents itself. When I think of us who are surviving, for today, the following quote by Khalil Gibran comes to mind: “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. rvanhalm says:

    Well said Mary-Louise!


  5. Barbara says:

    Hey Cancer Queen —You Reign Supreme!!!


  6. Christina says:

    You will always just be Rochelle to me! Not Rochelle with cancer, or Rochelle in or out of chemo, just Rochelle. Thanks for being you! Someone who can not be described by the word “disappointing.” XO from Dublin! Good luck tomorrow!


  7. Sandi says:

    Best wishes for a successful round, Rochelle. Rooting for you from afar…xo


  8. Carole Inkson says:

    I don’t know you well Rochelle but I wish you well with my heart. No one could possibly be disappointed in you.


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